One of the stranger press releases that have landed at our door - the first (as far as we know) celebration of small penises in London.
Is big really better? That’s the question poet Ant Smith will be answering with an emphatic “no!” when he hold’s the world’s first celebratory gathering for men with small penises at ‘The Big Small Penis Party’, in London on March, 7th.
“For too long, men who perceive their penises to be small have been made to feel inadequate. It’s time to stand up and say there’s nothing wrong with having a little nob”, says Ant, whose poem Shorty, embracing his own “crooked little finger”, received national press attention last year. “The reaction to Shorty was astounding. I’ve never experienced anything like it, I had men from all over the world contact me to say how the poem provided them with a long overdue boost of confidence. I hate the perception that you’re not a ‘real man’ unless you have a big penis, and I don’t think men who think they have small penises should be body shamed by the perception that big is better, or that massive dongs are even remotely common”.
Having been exposed to the scale of sensitivity amongst men regarding the size of their bulge, and inadvertently becoming a voice for those suffering in silence, Ant felt duty bound to take things a step further and decided to make a more concerted effort to campaign against the notion that the bigger the better.
“I’m told that the average length of a man’s penis in Britain is between 5.5 - 6.3 inches when erect. However, I think most men that fall within that bracket would tell you they have a small penis, not an average one, and a lot of them would tell you they’re ashamed of it. That’s not right. Even if you’re smaller than average, so what? It’s this age old misconception that men are in someway more virile, fertile and better able to satisfy a sexual partner if they have a big todger that I want to challenge. It’s nonsense.”
Ant says that ‘The Big Small Penis Party’ will be the first step on his journey to get people to talk more openly about penis size; “I wanted to hold an event in London that’s open to everyone. I have nothing against men with above average size penises, but to be honest they’ve had more than their fair share of the limelight, this party is all about celebrating smaller members”.
Ticketing for the event will certainly reflect the mood of the night. Male guests will pay an entrance fee equal to 50p per claimed inch of their erect penis size. Later in the evening, Ant will announce the average phallic length in the room, based on door takings, to see how it matches up against the national average.
The line up of performers on the night includes two female comediennes, six naked male poets, a folk musician, a hiphop comedy duo, live music and of course Ant himself, performing Shorty. “It’s an open invite to everybody, male or female. We’ve all been touched by a small penis in our lifetime, now’s the time to give something back”.
Ant’s also aware of the more serious side of what he’s doing; “I accept what I’m trying to do will inevitably cause a few sniggers, and I think some humour is warranted, to help us get the message out there. However, it’s very important that we don’t forget the traumatic effects on someone’s mental health that any kind of insecurity linked to appearance can have”.
It seems the ‘The Big Small Penis Party’ is only the beginning for Ant, he has ambitious plans to take his campaign to the doors of those he believes are still helping create the impression that big is best; “Do people genuinely believe that male models and celebrities like David Beckham, pictured in their underwear, have nob’s as big as their eye-watering bulges suggest? And if David does have a tiny todger, why would anyone care? It’s the advertisers and magazines that create these fantasy, enhanced bulge pictures that I want to speak to. It’s time they printed photos of men looking natural. And natural rarely means big.”
Anyone who can’t make the party can voice their own opinions, follow the build up to the event and get updates throughout the night by engaging with the hashtag #smallpenispride on Twitter.
The Big Small Penis Party will be held on March, 7th 2015 at;
The Rhythm Factory, 16-18 Whitechapel Road, London E1 1EW.
Tickets will only be available on the door and on a first come first served basis. The entrance fee for gents is 50p per claimed phallic inch, 50p per preferred phallic inch for ladies.